Super Therapy
by OhioGuy
Summary: Otis williams is a therapist/ psychologist, His clients are superheroes and Supervillians. He really hates his job.
1. Chapter 1

**Meet my original character, whose initials Are OOC. (OUT OF CONTINUITY/CONTEXT)**

My name is Otis Oswald Collins. I am a psychologist. My clientele is very unique, as they are superheroes and Supervillains. I'm the guy they see about their problems…sometimes, I hate this job.

Therapy Session #1: Wayne, Bruce.

11:31 A.M.

My patient is late. You know, for a billionaire whose spends his time fighting crime in tights, he can't even remember his appointment.

The Door opens. He's here. Great…

Bruce: Hello, Dr. Collins. Sorry I'm late; my limo couldn't find a parking space. As you can imagine it's kind of hard trying to get a limo to Parallel Park. Good news is it worked. Bad news is your car's rear bumper was torn off.

Otis: Well, I'm sure my insurance can cover it…

Bruce: Yeah, about that. I lied…not only was the bumper destroyed, but so were the car trunk and backseats and it blew up.

Otis: **YOU BLEW UP MY CAR!**

Bruce: Yes, but I'm gonna do the right thing and get you a used car.

Otis: What! Why not buy me a new Camaro or Corvette, You're a freaking billionaire!

Bruce: Whoa, how did I turn into the bad guy and I didn't get this far by handing out stuff.

Otis: First of all, pal. You never gave anyone anything. Second, you got that money from your dead parents…

I notice a glint of anger in his eyes and his grinding teeth.

Bruce: **WHAT DID YOU SAY?**

Otis: Well, actually I brought that up to shut you up and that's where I wanted to begin our session. Now tell me, Bruce, how have you been coping with your parent's murder lately?

Bruce: I gave all the criminals I fought the following: 56 concussions, 45 dislocated jaws, 42 broken ribs, 37 broken legs, 32 fractured arms and legs, 28 bloody noses, 21 shattered pelvises, and put Joker into a coma after punching him repeatedly in the face for 3 hours.

Otis: Holy Unadulterated Violence, Batman. You memorized all that?

Bruce: Yeah, I either remember all that or I remember that…night.

Otis: Okay, Drama Queen, listen and listen well. You have survivors' guilt.

Bruce: What? How?

Otis: Because you saw your own Parents shot in front of you, instilling yourself with a feeling of guilt and you take this out on criminals to cope.

Bruce: Well, that explains my lifelong depression… I don't know why I do it in a ridiculous outfit.

Otis: I'm paid to help you with your emotional problems, not to discuss your weird hobbies.

Bruce: Oh, Well, Actually I found a new hobby… knitting.

Otis: Seriously? Out of everything in the whole world, you picked that?

Bruce: Yeah, what's wrong with that?

Otis: It doesn't really fit in with the whole Batman thing, you know dark, depressing, and dangerous.

Bruce: Hey, it wasn't my choice.

Otis: Whose idea was it?

Bruce: Black Canary's.

Otis: Well, that makes sense.

Bruce: Yep and I made you a sweater.

He hands me a black knitted sweater. On the back, in bright white cotton, these five words appeared: KICK ME, I'M AN IDIOT!

Bruce: When I finished that, I was going to give to Kid flash… Then I thought of you.

I stared at him in anger. My knuckles cracked.

**FIVE MINUTES LATER…**

I Stand by Bruce Wayne's limo. I have a bat in my hand. Bruce stands idly by in the door begging me to spare the car.

Otis: SORRY! BUT I THINK AFTER DESTROYING MY CAR, INSULTING ME, AND GIVING ME THAT SWEATER… I DESERVE SOME PAYBACK!

I then raised the bat and smashed the window. Bruce yells out in protest.

Bruce: Okay, You made your point! Just unlock the door and let me out of the building.

I lean down and look at wheels.

Otis: Wow, pure gold spinners.

I then take a spray can and paint the golden wheels red.

Suddenly the police came. They freed Bruce.

Officer: Sir, Put Your Hands up!

I ignore him.

The officer then pulls out a Taser.

Officer: I said put em up!

Otis: Hey, Everyone! I know who Batman is…

Then Bruce takes the Taser, runs up to me, and shocks me.

Next thing I knew, I was lying on the sidewalk and drooling.

The officer looks horrified at Bruce.

Bruce: I...uh... He messed up my car…after I messed his up…

The Officer takes out hand cuffs.

Bruce: Okay, How much for his car?

The end

_What do you think? Don' worry, Otis was not charged with anything and he got a new car, a brand new Corvette. Please Review and Send Therapy Suggestions. His next session is Relationship Counseling with Miss. Martian and Superboy. Great._


	2. Chapter 2

Therapy session #2: Kent, Connor/ M'orzz M'gann

My Patience is running thin. These two have been arguing for weeks and their team has grown concerned. They have contacted me to stop this before it escalates.

Seated in front of me are two Sidekicks, named Superboy and Miss Martian.

Apparently they've been having problems in their relationship. This is gonna be hard considering the fact on is invulnerable and the other can control people.

Otis: So, Do you both know why you're here?

Miss. Martian: BECAUSE OF HIM!

Superboy: BECAUSE OF HER!

Otis: Okay, that was not the answer I wanted…but I can tell you you're here because your friends are worried.

Superboy: I don't need help from anybody!

Miss Martian: Oh I'm sorry, who said that he didn't need help? Mr. "I escaped from Cadmus because three teenagers just accidently stumbled upon me."?

Superboy: Doctor, do you see now what I have to deal with? Everyday, I get ready for work and there's always a burned egg or a burned Ice cream bowl. Who bakes Ice cream, seriously?

Miss Martian: I never hear Wally complain, he loves my cooking.

Superboy: Oh he just does that to make you feel better about yourself, because after he eats your cookies, he runs to the nearest restroom and…

Otis: TMI!

Superboy: Sorry,

Miss Martian: Oh, now you learn manners! Those mutant monkeys taught you how to talk, walk, and other stuff…but they couldn't put some manners in you.

Superboy: I hate monkeys…but not as much as I hate you right now.

Otis: Alright, Let's try something else. We'll try role-playing, you know? Reverse your roles.

Miss Martian: Reverse our roles?

Superboy: She wants' us to act like how we perceive each other.

Miss Martian: Hello Megan, I should've thought of that!

Otis: Okay, M'gann, since you seem more open to this idea…maybe you should start us off.

Miss Martian: Okay.

She then shape shifts into Connor and copies his voice.

Miss Martian: Pardon me, I think this seats mine. Because I'm the tough guy that everyone's afraid of, but really I'm an emo Goth kid who can't fly or shoot heat from my eyes. If that wasn't bad enough, I have antisocial characteristics, barely control my temper, and my daddy doesn't love me.

Superboy gets angry, but forms a wide smile and crosses his leg like he was his girlfriend. He speaks in a high voice.

Superboy: I have issues with what I look like. I'm either an albino, green, or an image based on an actress from some 90's show. What was that show called...? Hello Megan, it was called Hello Megan! Not only do I love that show, but I also copy the personality of that character. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY HELLO MEGAN WHENEVER YOU HAVE AN IDEA!

Miss Martian: I can if I want to.

Superboy: It's annoying.

Miss Martian: You have no self-control!

Otis: SHUT UP! You're both right. Megan, I think you should just be yourself and not take what you've seen on TV and Connor; you actually do have anger issues. Now I'm supposed to help you patch up this relationship. It starts first with Connor… Now what do you intend to do?

Superboy: Hmmmm…

24 minutes later…

I am now hanging up on a flagpole by my underwear. Male patient has given me what Wally West call's a Super Wedgie. My clients have reached a compromise.

Connor: It's over.

M'gann: Fine, But we can stay friends.

I watch them both walk away. I may have not saved their love, but at least they're still friends.

And I really have to call the fire department. Except my cell phone is now on the ground;

Crap.

Review and leave therapy suggestions. Next is an intervention for Artemis with all her friends to support her. This will not go well.


	3. Chapter 3

Therapy session #3: Crock, Artemis.

A group of sidekicks were seated in my office. We were expecting Artemis to come through that door. She is only seconds away from the door.

She opens it and is not thrilled at what she sees.

Artemis: What the Heck is this?

Otis: Ms. Crock, I'm Doctor Collins. Your friends called and set up this intervention for you.

Artemis: This is crazy, I'm leaving!

But the door is locked. Kid Flash is blocking the door.

Artemis: Out of the way, Kid Doofus.

Wally: No.

Artemis: OUT OF MY WAY, NOW!

Otis: Don't move one centimeter, Artemis.

Wally: Centimeter?

Otis: I prefer using the metric system.

Artemis: Why?

Otis: My Parent's were Math teachers.

Wally: That actually makes sense.

Artemis: Whatever, Baywatch. You're still getting out of my way!

Wally: No and sit down.

Artemis: Make me.

Suddenly Artemis is on a chair with Kid Flash near her.

Wally: I just did and we're all here because you have a problem.

Otis: Indeed, Robin will you start first?

Robin gets up and reads a small paper.

Robin: Hey Arty, how are you doing? I'm doing fine. We arranged this intervention to discuss our problems with your addiction.

Artemis: Addiction?

Connor: We're talking about your addiction to…Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Artemis: Are you kidding me?

Otis: Artemis, please let them finish.

M'gann: Dear Artemis, Every time I see you stuff your face with cookies, you're either crying or moping about your problems.

Artemis: I wasn't crying…I…was laughing.

M'gann: Sure you were. Anyhow, it makes me feel awful and that I want to cry too. Please stop.

Otis: Not exactly emotional, but thank you.

Artemis: Can I go now?

Everyone: No!

Artemis crosses her arms and pouts.

Otis: Now you, Connor.

Connor: Artemis, stop eating cookies.

Otis: Can you do better than that?

Connor: Do you want a repeat of the last Time I was here?

Flashback…

Otis Collins is still hanging by his underwear on the flagpole. It is now night time.

He is freezing cold and a bunch bats are perched on him.

Otis: HELP ME! HELP ME COPS, HELP ME GOD, HELP ME OPRAH, AND HELP ME CHUCK NORRIS!

Back in the present…

Otis: Point made. Who's next?

Zatanna: Artemis, You need help and I have a spell that can help you.

Artemis: Well try it.

Zatanna: Ssap reh noitcidda to Sito Snilloc!

Nothing Happens.

Artemis: Did it work?

Otis: I think so, want a cookie.

Artemis: Get that garbage away from me, I'm on a diet!

Otis: Oh, well.

I then eat it.

Otis: Why do I feel like I need more cookies?

Zatanna: Uhm, well… I transferred Artemis's addiction on to you.

Otis: You what?

The team then runs out of the room. I see them outside the window, which I open to yell at them.

Otis: I'm going to call your mentors! I don't care if you take my cell phone or even my regular phone, but I'll travel to the nearest Zeta- Platform, even if it takes thousandths of Kilometers!

Random Stranger: Did he just say Kilometers?

Robin: Yeah, He like's using the metric system.

R. Stranger: Is he British or something?

Otis: I'm From New Hampshire! And my Mother was French- Canadian!

Wally: I thought we had problems.

Artemis: We should run now.

They then run and disappear out of sight.

Otis: I hate superheroes;

Review and leave suggestions.


End file.
